Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Wish She Could Know

I should be in bed. I should be getting rest and ready to do more sorting and culling tomorrow. I should be studying my Hebrew if I'm not going to sleep. All these thoughts were going through my head a bit ago. Then I realized I was missing something important. My mind had been wandering exactly where God wanted it to go. And I was trying to shake it off because I didn't recognize this late night blessing that I was being granted.

Is there someone from your past that you wish could know where you are now in your life? My wandering thoughts were taking me on a time trip in reverse, kind of like a way-back machine. I was working my way back in time, smiling and rejoicing over some of the parts, regretting some others, then recalling special times that were greatly blessed and encouraging in my walk with Jesus. I finally made it back to the beginning of that story - the summer I learned about God's deep love for me and the great sacrifice for my sake. The "healing rain that becomes the fire" as Michael W. Smith has put it.

Sylvia. Just 'Sylvia'. I never knew her last name. She was my cabin's counselor that summer at Miracle Mountain Ranch a lifetime ago. I heard things at evening chapel that summer that I hadn't heard before. I knew the names God and Jesus and I connected them to a building called a church but there was nothing personal in all that, was there? There were some rules to follow and I was doing that, as far as I was able. My inner heart rebelled at some of the things I was learning in catechism class but I wasn't suffering some inner struggle. I just figured I was missing something that I would 'get' eventually. Then I was stirred deep in my heart by a message at evening chapel at MMR. I didn't fully understand it but I JUST KNEW that I wanted to, I NEEDED to understand it. Sylvia was that special person God had picked for me. She explained it all and I 'got' it! I remember that evening as well today as if it had just happened. I sobbed for an hour when I came to the realization of what Jesus had done for me. FOR ME. I'm so grateful to Sylvia for leading me to the cross that summer. I wish she could know. I wish she knew the impact she had on my life. If she's still alive, I believe she is in her 70's now. God bless you, Sylvia. Someday we'll get to rejoice together!!
And may God bless Miracle Mountain Ranch, their workers and their work. My daughter went to MMR one summer and I hope my grandson can enjoy the experience one day, too! 


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